Flying the coop

  Graduation is just around the corner and my little baby bird is not such a baby anymore!  The nest appears to be too small for the three of us.  In less than six months, he has plans to fly.

  I'm supposed to give myself, as a parent, a big pat on the back and be happy for this next stage of life...for him...for us.  Don't get me wrong, I am more than glad we all made it through these last few years of high school without too many speed bumps along the way!  I very much look forward to hearing all about Teuvo's college adventures; his new friends, dorm life, what he's learning, and all about the musical side but...

  My pot is boiling over with mixed emotions; excitement, sadness, happiness, loneliness, relief, emptiness, worry, and on.

  Questions constantly flood my mind: what happens if he gets sick and I'm not there to help?  What if he goes 'wild' because mom and dad are not around to enforce rules? What happens if he meets kids that will cause trouble? What if he's the one causing the trouble?  What about food...will he make good food choices so he can be healthy? What about that girl he's going to meet who we don't know?  What am I going to do now?  What can I do now?  What do I want to be when I grow up?  What is our marriage going to be like? What will we talk about?

  I can hardly believe 'college' is knocking on our door.  Time has gone by so fast; it seems like just yesterday Teuvo rolled over off his blanket for the first time and I was telling Bill about it after work.

  'Freedom,' I'm told is just around the corner but...my resume is pretty much blank after being a 'stay at home' parent for seventeen years.  College is expensive!  I don't want to work evenings or weekends although extra cash and a pension plan for the future would be a bonus.

  A book I recently read on this subject (thanks Susan) reassured me that I am not alone and that many parents feel as I do.  It suggested that talking with others and reaching out for support helps with the process.  

I'm a little nervous, and scared but at the same time, I am excited... for him, for us, and for me as we prepare for this next leg of the journey.